|Eerie, Indiana fanfiction: Agenda
||[Jan. 18th, 2017|08:24 pm]
Written for the fffc Little Special: Against the Clock, where you try to create something in under an hour.
This takes place in the same world as "Underwater" and is pretty much a continuation of that one.
"You wanted to see me?" said the Mayor, setting his platinum pen down atop the creamy whiteness of the blotter that protected his vast ebony desk.
The Garbage Man removed his mirrored sunglasses, pulled his Eerie Municipal Management uniform cap off his head, and threw himself into the low leather settee that sat opposite Chisel's throne-like office chair. He produced a brown paper envelope from inside his coveralls and slid it over the polished surface of the desk.
"Some kid graffitied the sign for Faragher Road," he said, his voice gravelly. "Changed it so it says 'Far, Far Away'. Now the entire neighbourhood is slipping in and out of flux with the rest of town."
"The anti-vandalism ordinances came into effect last month," said Chisel. "The Examiner did a piece on it, there was a ceremony, the entire thing is available to read at the public library." He held up a hand as the Garbage Man opened his mouth. "Nope. If people want to let their kids run riot and damage public property, they can handle the consequences. Or they can fall into another timeline and be the consequences for a different Eerie, and a different Mayor."
The Garbage Man was quiet for a moment.
"Do you object to my decision?" the Mayor asked.
"No," said the Garbage Man. "If they're not in my timeline, they're not my problem. Makes my job easier."
"Good," said the Mayor. "What else?"
"The Popcorn Elder God was spotted in the sky over the Eerie Drive Through during the full moon," said the Garbage Man. "There's nothing to indicate a breach in the time-space continuum, so it doesn't look like it came through. As far as I can tell, it was the unknowable cosmic horror equivalent of looking in a restaurant window before deciding to eat elsewhere."
"Hmm," said Chisel. "Well, I'm glad we're not screaming in terror while our sanity boils out of our ears, but I am a little insulted that an eldritch abomination doesn't think we're worth devouring. No accounting for taste, I suppose. Anything else?"
The Garbage Man hesitated. Chisel made an impatient noise and gestured for him to get on with it.
"Things Incorporated have been stirring up trouble again," said the Garbage Man. "Seven attempted breaches at the disposal site in the last three days. The last operative made it through to the ninth circle before being ret-conned out of existence."
"Poor Eddie Teller," said the Mayor, sounding almost genuinely regretful. "Such a shame. I ought to have gotten rid of him years ago. That business with the cash machine should have warned me."
You could have just not killed his wife," said the Garbage Man.
"You could have just not put two shotgun rounds through his son's face," said the Mayor.
The Garbage Man looked away.
"Oh, don't sulk," said Chisel. "Nobody likes that. It's unattractive."
"Are we done?" said the Garbage Man, rising to his feet and his full, unimpressive height.
"Yes," said the Mayor. "Sign out at reception, please. Fire regs, you know. And please have your administrative officers send over everything they have on our wayward inventor and the former Miss Tornado Day. I think it's time we arranged a... hostile takeover."
Dash X had been sliding his reflective shades back into place, but at Chisel's words he paused and gave a very slow, very deliberate roll of his eyes.
"I saw that," said the Mayor.
"You were meant to," said the Garbage Man formerly known as Dash X, and left the room.
Milk by froodle, in which Marshall develops a completely cromulent fear of milk trucks
Reanimator by froodle, in which the Milkman returns
Multiplicity by froodle, in which Marshall must once again confront parallel realities, diverging timelines and public speaking
Lillian by froodle, in which Marilyn's mother has concerns
Hound by froodle, in which Simon makes a friend
Slyboots by froodle, in which a certain corporal of the infernal regions comes to Eerie. Crossover with Johannes Cabal the Necromancer.
Strawberry by froodle, in which there is unauthorised hubbub in Eerie
Nap by froodle, in which Marshall has a quiet moment in the Secret Spot