|"Marshall's Theory of Believability": The Script Post, Part 3
||[Mar. 26th, 2016|10:01 am]
In which we resume with Act II, more notes, and the most disturbing almost-canon subplot ever.
Okay, I fell asleep last night, but I am back with coffee and more Space Thing.
The WERD-TV news montage that opens this act was originally longer.
Simon had a line: "Today, I feel like the luckiest kid alive."
So did Sgt. Knight: "Yes, guarding the Space Thing is a dangerous job, but somebody's got to do it."
And Syndi: "I don't know...up until now I always thought my brother was kind of weird. Actually, I still do."
Extended lines from the montage:
Marshall's "For instance..." originally cut off at "For instance, Elvis..."
Zircon noted the markings on the thing: "This may indeed be the Rosetta Stone of UFO's These etchings appear to be some type of intergalactic hieroglyphics."
Radford spends a bit mentioning each piece of merchandise by name: "We've got your shirts, hats, key chains..."
Chisel bit is longer. He offers to buy the Thing for six hundred dollars and all of Zircon's outstanding traffic tickets.
Marilyn's line is longer, cut probably because she's just describing what we've just seen, but this bit is kind of "awww"-inspiring: "When the boys came in running in saying they had spotted the falling object, well I just couldn't be more proud."
And then there's a cut scene.
Which, um...okay, if you'd told me I would wind up warning for interspecies non-con in a discussion in this community, I would have considered it not beyond the realm of possibility, but would have assumed it would be in the context of fanfic...
Apparently, Claude/Bigfoot was a (one-sided) thing in the original draft.
Also disturbing: The narrative framing means that at some point somebody shared this information with 13-year-old Marshall.
Note on Chisel opposite page 23:
Note text: "Chisell [sic] has no "ark"/"arc." An easy one would be...He goes from wanting to protect the "peace" of Eerie to realizing he can make a buck."
Small note on page 23:
Note that JIMMY HOFFA originally appeared among the Chamber of Commerce. Which is really weird (even for Eerie) because episode airing order and numbering both place this one after "Lost Hour."
Aside from the entire Chamber not appearing at this point in the final episode, most of the scene on this page is cut. As aired, Chisel makes his offer, Zircon responds "Well, I'm very flattered by your generous offer, but of course, this object isn't for sale at any price" and we cut to Radford's line about the Holy Tortilla Shrine without anybody getting threatened with a weed eater.
Elvis saying "When's lunch?" is not in the script.
Page 24 has more notes:
On left: "earlier note about week-ending for speech."
On right: "Why not in bed like B.B. said?"
On bottom: "Scary Break in?"
The Santa Claus bit is changed from the script. Note that here Marshall is just three years old when he was trying to take pictures. [Imagining Our Hero as a baby paranormal investigator is just too adorable for words.]
In the final episode, Edgar's line ends "I mean, I had a lot of fun with your train set..."
And Marshall's begins "Dad, he did show up. Only the camera was broken. But that's not the point. The point is...I saw the Space Thing fall from the sky..." Thus establishing that, yes, he still believes in Santa.
Edgar's "Well done, Edgar. Well done" to himself at the end of this scene is not in the script.
The break-in scene at the museum is pretty much as scripted.
In the script, Marshall doesn't tell Simon, "Whistle if you hear anything."
In the script, we just see things like the pie tins and the mold the Prof uses to make the Bigfoot prints. In the ep, Marshall describes everything out loud. [Just to be sure the audience knows what they're seeing, I guess.] He also has a few more denial lines--"It can't be"--throughout the scene.
In the script, Simon gets a close-up look at the Prof's stuffed Bigfoot and finds a tag reading, "Shicker and Shicker Furriers. Beverly Hills...Paris...Milan."
One more note (and also more Claude/Bigfoot) on page 26.
On the next page, the knockout happens, and Claude presumably runs away as the scene cuts to the Chamber of Commerce in the World O' Stuff...
...where Chisel and Elvis' hand gestures are unscripted.
Not spotted in the background in the scene as aired: "a sign advertising Radford's latest gimmick: 'Imitation Sushi'."
In the script, it's the Eerie/Yoshimura Consortium.
In the episode, Chisel's line to Marshall is changed from the softer "Son, what is it? We're having a business meeting" to "Hey, hey, we’re doing business here!"
A note on page 28:
Edgar doesn't actually get to say "I know."
A couple of changes from the script here: Knight and Radford don't grab the professor in the episode, and everything yelled as the professor runs away is unscripted.
Significant line change: Marshall's "You know how you said I was disappointed when I found out there was no Santa Claus?" becomes "You know how I said I would be disappointed if I found out there was no Santa Claus?"
And one last note on page 29:
Edgar's speech does air as written.
In the next scene, Simon's "It is neat" and Marshall's "Yeah" are cut.
In the script, Prof. Zircon says, "I make them happy. That’s my job" before saying there's no such thing as UFOs or Bigfoot.
Claude's "Heck, that thing doesn’t even blink" is not in the script.
In the script, the Prof also says, "Sorry boys, he's losing his mind" in reference to Claude. Also, some of the lines that does actually air have a whole new context now. "This is Claude. There's something the matter with him." [You think?!]
Simon's line changes from "It kind of looks like a white dot on a blue background" to "on a black background" which makes sense, given that the previous scene is at night. [Time of day is not actually specified in the script.]
As aired, Marshall adds an adjective to the final voiceover: "Our picture looked like every other crummy picture I'd ever seen of a UFO..."
And that wraps it up for this script.