|"The Gun and the Toaster" Script
||[Jan. 22nd, 2016|03:50 pm]
So I made a recent impulse buy on eBay:
The script to episode "The Gun and the Toaster," or as it would eventually be known, "The Hole in the Head Gang." This is the 1/10/92 revision of the final draft. I've since promised people that I would do a rewatch and write up what's different in the script than what eventually made it to the screen. This is that post.
Differences and Observations: [my notes in brackets]
Intro and Prologue
1. Obviously, the title changed at some point.
2. The cast list has Marshall, Simon, and the rest of the Tellers along with these roles:
BANK TELLER [not sure if they knew he was Fred Suggs at this point]
BOY [I think this is the character who eventually became the Foreverware girl]
DASH [so they did not type out "THE KID WITH THE GREY HAIR" in every script until "Loyal Order"]
GHOSTLY MOAN [not sure why different than the above]
RADFORD [aka Fred Suggs]
REAL RADFORD [or John Astin's Radford]
3. The set list has a listing for EXT. SOMEBODY'S BACK YARD - DAY which doesn't actually appear in the script.
4. The prologue is basically the same. One of Marshall's lines winds up slightly shorter: "Let's just get some pictures and get out of here" instead of "Let's just get some Polaroids of the outside for our records and blow out of here" and they don't hesitate before going into the mill. [Which makes more sense. I can't actually imagine Marshall just stopping at the outside, and being satisfied.]
5. The Disgusting Blob. There's a whole bit in the script where the duo discover a disgusting blob of ectoplasm with various animal parts sticking out of it. [The blob is actually present in the final scene--you can see it after the chair crashes into the wall, but isn't called out.] This whole bit is replaced with a cut to "What's holding that chair up?"
6. Also missing before the chair breaking, more spooky noises: a ghostly howl, rattling chain noises and the sound of footsteps, and the boys reacting to it.
7. Marshall doesn't say "We're going. We're going." After ghost!Dash's "Leave now or stay forever."
8. This bit at the very end of the Prologue: Inside, a ghost laughs until he sighs with exhaustion. [Poor, tired Dash.]
9. Nothing Fred Suggs says after "I'm sorry if I caused any inconvenience" is scripted.
10. In the episode, Marshall doesn't say "Eerie moves in mysterious ways" at the end of the voiceover about the Real Radford.
11. The first description of the real Radford: Radford is blubbering to THE REAL RADFORD who is squinting in the light like a man released from solitary confinement.
12. The rest of the World O' Stuff scene is pretty much identical, though the action doesn't appear in the script, only the dialogue.
13. Marshall's line "Whatever you do, don't step in that ectoplasm" is missing upon the return to the Old Mill.
14. From the script: Marshall decides to try the direct approach. He moans like you're supposed to do when you talk to a ghost.
15. In the script, the dialogue is slightly different and Simon is the one who actually slams the chair into the wall.
16. Dash's first description: Blocking any exit. A scary, older kid called DASH. Threat incarnate, but with a sinister smile on his face. And, oh yeah, he has grey hair.
17. In the script, Dash grabs Marshall and Simon instead of just Marshall.
18. In the episode, Dash doesn't say "Kind of a 'little brother is watching you' deal?" after "...some kind of teenage neighborhood watch gone insane?" [As scripted, he was even more literate for an amnesiac.]
19. In the script, Dash puts on the mask right before "You mean this guy?" and takes it off again right before "Maybe I'M your evil twin."
20. Dash also doesn't pick up Marshall's helmet in the script.
21. Dash's gun twirl is unscripted.
22. Grungy Bill's description: Grungy looks like a translucent overgrown Yosemite Sam.
23. In the script, Grungy Bill has the gun on Marshall throughout the whole tying up scene.
24. Dash has a line about the marks on the back of his hands at the end of his origin story, marked POSSIBLE CUT in this draft.
25. As originally scripted, Grungy Bill was disguised in a lime-green leisure suit, and Marshall's dress had a very large bosom, which explained how he was going to stash all the money in there.
26. The action and some of the characters at the bank are the most different from here to the episode. They also changes between pages in the draft I have. From the script:
Grungy hustles Marshall into one of the Teller lines behind an OUTDOORSMAN IN HIP WADERS WITH A FISHING POLE and a MAN WITH A FEZ. In the other line is a nun with a briefcase handcuffed to her wrist. When she pops open the briefcase and starts counting out stacks of hundreds, Grungy takes notice. Behind the nun is a MOM and an OBNOXIOUS LITTLE KID with a huge piggy bank full of pennies.
27. In the episode, the nun is making withdrawal instead of a deposit. Also, the scene where Grungy tries to cut in line and the nun tells him to "Back off" is not in this draft.
28. As scripted, Simon originally meets the Tellers outside of the bank and some of the dialogue occurs out there. This is probably why Edgar's first line to Simon in the episode is "So, Simon, where's Marshall?" and not "Hello" or something. They've already met.
29. From the script, after Edgar's "Can't beat the price" line: Simon finds the Tellers hard to understand sometimes.
30. Both of Syndi's hating toast lines, "Just because they give you a toaster doesn't mean I'm going to eat toast. I hate toast" and later, the bit about "I don't even like toast and now I broke a nail" are not in the script.
31. In the script it's noted that Marshall hands the BANK TELLER (who is Fred Suggs, the imposter), his stick up note... but the whole interaction with "Aren't you...?" and Suggs' "Would you like me to throw this away?" is missing.
32. The identities of the Mom and the Obnoxious Little Kid were not settled as of this draft. They're kind of generic in the description in #26 (on script page 28, dated 12/19), but on page 30A of this draft (dated 1/7), Mom is specifically named FOREVERWARE MOM and the entire speech about Little Freshness and her dolly are there. By page 31 of this draft (dated 1/10), the kid is a BOY and mom is back to being generic.
33. The action changes in between drafts. On page 30A, Dash cuts in front of Simon, but on 31, he's behind Simon and shoves him into the kid.
34. Dash's maniacal laughter when he runs out the door is unscripted.
35. This cut is missing from the episode:
ON THE BRAT
The only one not busy scooping up pennies, he tugs at his mom's skirt, pointing at the flying toaster.
[The fact that it's specifically called a flying toaster makes me believe that much more that they are referencing the screensaver.]
Instead, in the episode, we have the guy in the fez and the woman on the other side of the bank door reacting.
36. Edgar's line changes from "That was the most unattractive girl I've ever seen" to "That is the strangest-looking girl I've ever seen."
37. Dash and Grungy Bill's final lines are altered slightly.
Dash's "Did somebody say GUNNNNNNN?" becomes "Reach for the sky!"
Grungy's "Uh-oh. Suddenly I don't feel so good" becomes "Not my gun! I'm nothing without Betsy!"
Dash doesn't say, "Sorry, but it had to be done" after that.
38. Dash gets a little more time to sneak out of the mill unnoticed at the end of the episode. In the script, Simon doesn't say, "Wow! A haunted toaster! Cool!" and Marshall doesn't say, "That's weird, even for us. Don't you think?" It just goes straight to "Where'd that guy go?"